What It Means To Be Nigerian

By Afam Ugwuanyi

Last week, I had a chat with a Room Fellow from Kenya. We were discussing various topics, and at some point, he asked me what it meant to be a Nigerian. A few days later, I received an email from a friend who had just left Nigeria to study in the US, narrating an encounter he had at a dinner in a white Professor’s house where a white folk asked him if we had air conditioners back in Nigeria and whether he felt privileged to be using an iPhone.

My friend’s experience in far-away America coupled with the question posed by the Kenyan fellow left me pondering for a couple of days. “What does it mean to be Nigerian?” And no, he didn’t mean being a Nigerian (as if that wasn’t confusing enough already) — he meant embodying the true essence of Nigeria.

Now, I’m not gonna lie, I was taken aback by this question. I mean, what kind of query is that? It’s like asking what colour the wind is! But as I lay in bed that night, pondering the question, it hit me — being Nigerian is a whole vibe, and you can’t just fake it till you make it.

So, here is what I think about what it means to be Nigerian and the telltale signs that you just can’t take away from being truly Nigerian:

One of the most noticeable things about being a Nigerian is our show of respect which is a BIG deal. And I mean HUGE. Whether you’re talking to your boss or your gateman, you better show some R-E-S-P-E-C-T, or else you’ll feel the wrath of the ancestors. But don’t worry, it’s all in good faith — we just believe in giving props to those who deserve it. And by respect, in most cases, we mean greeting. I’ve never had the courage to walk past a human being without greeting them, even if the greeting was the popular “well done”. Don’t ask what for.

Another thing about our peculiar Nigerian-ness is that we have a knack for making jokes out of difficult situations. I mean, what else can you do when the going gets tough? Cry? Nah, that’s not our style. We prefer to laugh it off and make some hilarious memes and skits while we’re at it.

Furthermore, we’re not afraid to save some coins. Call it being thrifty or stingy, but we know the value of money. We’re the kind of people who’ll trek a mile just to save a few bucks on bread or buy matches instead of a lighter — it’s just who we are!

Let’s not forget our wise sayings. We’ve got tons of them, but as times change, so do our proverbs. So, to keep up with the times, here are some modern-day interpretations of some old classics:

ANCIENT: What a man sees lying down his child cannot see even if he climbs the iroko.

MODERN: What our dad saw on the palm tree today trended last week on Twitter.

ANCIENT: A stitch in time saves nine.

MODERN: Dey play.

ANCIENT: Fear him that has no secrets.

ANCIENT: Anyone who enters a bathroom with a phone doesn’t plan on coming out soon.

ANCIENT: A rolling stone gathers no moss.

MODERN: You must plug in your phone and leave it to charge.

ANCIENT: You don’t fight fire with fire.

MODERN: You eat akara with pap, not beans.

And finally, we have our own set of unspoken rules that we abide by, even though we have no clue where they came from. For instance, have you ever wondered why we keep brooms behind doors or beds in corners? Or why we always blame “They” for things we don’t know? It’s just part of our Nigerian-ness.

But wait, there’s more! We’ve also got some quirks that set us apart from the rest of the world. For example, we’ve got a knack for stereotyping everything — all noodles are Indomie, all toothpaste is Closeup, and all cocoa drinks are Milo. And let’s not forget our trust issues — we don’t just trust anyone or anything. We’ll spend three minutes trying to open a locked car door without the key just to confirm that it was really locked, count money dispensed from an ATM even though the machine has been programmed not to make such mistakes, and ask if there’s any pepper in the food even if it’s a bowl of cereal!

And when it comes to music, we know how to move and shake it like nobody’s business. We’ve got our own unique style of dancing, from the shaku shaku to zanku, and we’ll bust a move anytime, anywhere.

But at the end of the day, being Nigerian is more than just these quirks and traditions. It’s about resilience, perseverance, and a strong sense of community. We’ve been through some tough times, but we always come out on top, and that’s something to be proud of.

So, to my Kenyan friend who asked what it means to be Nigerian, I hope this gave you some insight. And to my fellow Nigerians, keep shining, keep hustling, and keep being true to who you are — because that’s what being Nigerian is all about.

Contributing Writers:

Afam Ugwuanyi

Julius Awugo

Editor:

Precious Chuckson